A few months ago, my husband and I scheduled PTO for last week to make sure that we remember to take breaks from the hamster wheel of life at random times throughout the year. Fortunately for us, it was excellent timing to get some work done for the new house. We had our first meeting with the builder and designer last week, so we had quite a few discussions amongst ourselves prior to the meeting to be as prepared as possible.
My husband and I were slightly nervous for the meeting since we have some special requests in terms of materials being used and the process involved. As we predicted, they asked us a bunch of questions, and we asked them a bunch of questions. They commented several times about how prepared we were for the meeting, and we gave each other that knowing look and laughed.
At one point during the meeting, as my husband and I were thinking about some of our options and stating each of our opinions in a kind and respectful manner, the designer looked at us and said, “You two are cute! It is not usually like this. We usually feel like we have to be marriage counselors, but not with you guys. This is great!”
My husband and I receive feedback similar to this quite often when we meet people for the first time during high stakes conversations. We are frequently told that we get along really well and respect each other more than most of the couples they encounter. My husband and I usually end up being people’s favorite couple to work with during high stress situations, because we have many of the same priorities and agree on a majority of things. I guess we make their work easier since we get along.
Even though my husband and I receive this comment from strangers quite frequently, it still surprises both of us. After the meeting last week, we laughed about it once again. I guess most couples don’t really like and respect each other?!? Our life is relatively calm, peaceful, and respectful in terms of our relationship.
If we disagree, we usually disagree respectfully, and we find our way to resolution as a team. We have always had a solid foundation of love and respect, so it is difficult for us to imagine living life any other way. But, after receiving this type of comment from strangers so many times, we are starting to understand that our type of relationship is not the norm. My guess is that our dynamic is a combination of always having that solid foundation with each other AND going through difficult times and having a different perspective than most people. We still have plenty of healthy disagreements, but the things that most people fight about just aren’t that important to us. Does the wall color really matter in the grand scheme of life? No. And, we are both well aware of that.
The bottom line is that my husband is my best friend. I know that he loves me, but I also know that he cares, puts in the effort, and considers my wants and needs as much as his own. And, I give that same love, care, effort, and consideration to him as well.
When I hear these kinds of comments from people upon meeting us for the first time, it always catches me off guard. Then, I feel an immense amount of gratitude for the relationship we have built and the work we continue to put forth to maintain it.
Brutal. High stakes conversations.
Beautiful. A marriage built on a solid foundation of love and respect.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 