My husband and I have been very busy with many medical appointments along with signing a contract to build a new house. We found a floor plan for a house that we really liked, and the circumstances and location all fell into place, so we took the leap. We weren’t really ready for the process to happen this fast, so it took us by surprise. However, to absolutely no one’s surprise, we have worked together as a team extremely well throughout this quick process, and we are (mostly) excited. We are the type of people who prefer to buy new homes that are almost finished so that we don’t have to make any design decisions. In the stage of life in which we are currently living, that isn’t really an options for us, so we are hoping that the building process is smoother than the horror stories we have been told. What I can say for sure is that we are looking forward to the finished product.
Anyone with even an inkling of emotional intelligence could anticipate that this decision would bring about a variety of emotions and feelings for the both of us, and that is exactly what has happened. I am obviously excited. However, I am grieving as well. Buying a house can remind people of the dreams they have/had for their life. It is a reminder of what can be, but also what could have been. In addition, buying a house is a reminder of what can happen in the future. It is a lot of emotions and feelings all jumbled together. As is easy to imagine, there have been a lot of tears for a plethora of reasons.
I wear my heart on my sleeve, and my husband has been ready for whatever emotions and feelings show up. Most people are terrible at sitting with people in the mud, but he has done the individual work to become comfortable with the full range of emotions and feelings that come up on this journey for the both of us. At this point, there is no one who is better at sitting with me through the tears than him.
(credit: The Holistic Psychologist)
The last 6 weeks have been an especially difficult part of my health journey, and I have felt less alone than ever before thanks to the work my husband and I have done as individuals and as a couple. We are able to emotionally show up for each other regardless of the circumstances, and I couldn’t be any more grateful.
My biggest worry at this point is something happening to me, and my husband having to deal with all of this house stuff on his own. We have discussed it several times, and he has assured me that he wants to take the leap anyway. I know he is capable of doing whatever needs to be done, but I don’t *want* him to have to deal with all of it on his own. Of course, I logically know that tomorrow is never guaranteed for anyone, so I try to keep living my life with hope and healthy optimism, while also being real about what is in front of me. And, even on the most difficult days, I actively work on finding joy!
(credit: Kate Bowler)
I told our amazing therapist about the wide range of emotions and feelings I have been experiencing since signing our house contract, and she told me that these feelings are further proof of how wonderful of a job I am doing at living alongside this invisible complex chronic illness. The emotions and feelings I am experiencing are normal and healthy for someone in my situation, and she is proud of me for continuing to live right alongside it all.
My husband and I really didn’t need to add anything to our plates right now (i.e. building a new house), but when something feels right, sometimes you have to just take the leap and hope for the best. And, that is exactly what we are doing!
[Note: If you missed my blog post about why we were thinking about moving in the first place, you can read it here: Needs AND Wants.]
Brutal. A bunch of emotions and feelings all jumbled together.
Beautiful. A bunch of emotions and feelings all jumbled together. Living alongside an invisible complex chronic illness with hope and healthy optimism. Finding joy.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 