My birthday was last week. My birthday presents this year were a new air conditioning unit for our house and a new shower in the primary bathroom (that is only 1/2 complete since some of the materials they ordered were not measured and cut correctly). I am kidding about them being birthday presents, but I am not kidding about the new A/C and shower. Both needed to be replaced, and unfortunately, within 2 weeks of each other. Hopefully, we will now get a break from house maintenance work until they come back to finish the shower when the correctly cut materials arrive in October.
To celebrate my birthday, we had a “nothing” day this weekend. Nothing days are days when we make a concerted effort to not plan anything except for a birthday meal and spending time together. My husband made my requested birthday meal that I had been looking forward to for 2 weeks: smoked short ribs and homemade French fries. I topped it all off with an easy almond butter and chocolate dessert. It was delicious.
My husband and I spent much of our day relaxing outside in the shade and talking. The weather was beautiful. We were grateful to be able to slow down. It was exactly what we wanted and needed given how busy our life has been for a while now.
My choice for birthday plans may seem mundane to most people, but my husband and I are grateful for what we have. We aren’t fancy and don’t need much. Time with each other is what matters most. We have learned over the years that focusing on everything we have — the Beautiful parts of life — is the recipe for true happiness. We are genuinely happy, and that is because we celebrate everything that our life is and have let go of what we thought our life would be.
In a therapy session a few weeks ago, my husband and I were reflecting on one of the most difficult times in our marriage. I wrote about this time (the fall of 2022) near the end of the Backstory posts in this blog. It was a time when my husband was starting to emotionally pull away, because he could see what was happening to me, and he was scared. He knew that we were doing everything in our power to find a solution, but he could see where we were headed. He is a fixer, and he couldn’t fix it, so he subconsciously decided the best answer was to save himself the pain of losing me by emotionally pulling away before he lost me. Thankfully, due to the work we have both put in, so much has changed for us emotionally since that time, both as individuals and as a couple.
As we were reflecting on this time in our life with our therapist, my husband said to her, “I didn’t realize what I was doing at the time until the two of you helped me to see it. Once I understood what I was doing and why, I made a conscious decision to show her how much I love her each and every day. My goal now is to be as emotionally plugged into our relationship as possible. I am clearing out my emotional baggage and becoming more emotionally mature. I don’t want her to ever wonder if she is fully and completely loved. I want to fully live the love story that is unfolding in the midst of this terrible situation. Regardless of how this situation ends, what a love story it is, and I don’t want to miss it.”
And, we are doing our best to fully live it. What a blessing it is.
I also received some very lovely birthday messages from a variety of people. One of them was from one of my former students who graduated 11 years ago:
I am more than grateful for the many people from all aspects of my life who continue to love and support me. I don’t take any of it for granted.
Happy Birthday to me! ❤️
Brutal. House maintenance birthday presents. 🤣
Beautiful. A nothing day. My current favorite meal. Celebrating life for everything that it is. Living out the most beautiful love story. The many people from all aspects of my life who continue to love and support me.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 