Physical Health:
I am continuing to try to figure out my next steps on this health journey. I officially ended my patient-practitioner relationship with my former main practitioner about 6 weeks ago. Over the last 2.5 months, we have had appointments with 3 new potential medical practitioners to determine whether or not they are a good fit for my situation. Having been in this health situation for 20+ years, I have learned that every practitioner has gaps in knowledge, skill set, work ethic/resiliency, or all of the above, and I am really looking for a practitioner or a team of practitioners who has all of the pieces I need. One new potential practitioner has a lot of knowledge, but he has yet to put forth the effort required to create meaningful change within my situation. The second new potential practitioner works with my chiropractor/acupuncturist, but she doesn’t seem to have all of the knowledge and skills I need at this stage of my journey. After these 2 appointments, I did not feel like these 2 practitioners were right for this specific part of my health journey. They may be a great addition to my team at a different part of my journey, but they didn’t feel right at this time.
Then, a few weeks ago, my current chiropractor/acupuncturist went to a work function and heard a speaker who presented on a bunch of topics related to my health situation. Immediately after the work function was over, she texted me and told me that she met someone who might be able to help me based on the general knowledge she has about my situation. The next day, my husband and I had a quick phone call with her to get more information. She had spoken to the speaker after he presented at the event and asked him about possibly seeing me as a patient. He is a published author, researcher, educator, ranked professor, and nationally renowned speaker, so he doesn’t usually take new patients. However, after hearing how much I had been through, he told my chiropractor to give me his contact info and have me make an appointment.
Last week, we had our initial virtual 1-hour appointment with this practitioner and his team. He has a Ph.D. and is a research-oriented practitioner, and I could tell immediately. Even though I had provided his team with requested documents and prior test results, he wanted me to summarize my health journey to him via Zoom. So, I spent the first 10 minutes of the virtual appointment recalling the most significant moments of the last 20+ years. He was actively engaged throughout my entire historical summary, and he would pause me at various times to ask me for more information in order to dig deeper. He quickly realized how much I know about these topics due to the fact that I am a curious person and have been learning from each of my previous practitioners along the way. Because of this, he spoke to me at my level. It was the first time in a very long time that a practitioner has not been threatened by my level of intelligence and knowledge of the situation at hand, and I could tell that he thought of me as a collaborator instead of a “lesser than” human. It was an hour-long volley back and forth of high-level questions and answers, feedback, reasoning, viewing test results, and collaborative teamwork. It felt like I was sitting down for a high-stakes test covering the last 20+ years, and I passed with flying colors. It was actually fun to be able to discuss these topics with someone who knows them well. Here are some of the comments this practitioner made during the appointment along with some of my responses:
Him: Wow! You know a lot!
Me [laughing]: What do you expect? I have been in this for 20+ years. 🤣
Him: You would have been an excellent candidate for our clinical trials.
Me [smirking]: You are not the first person who has said that to me. 🤣
Him: You couldn’t have figured all of this out before now. The science didn’t catch up to you until very recently.
Me: It is good to know that I have done a really great job considering that the science has not been ready for me.
Him: I can tell how much you have done to keep yourself alive and functioning. You would have been way worse off or dead by now if not for everything you have done for yourself over the last 20+ years.
Me: Yes, I know things would be a lot worse if not for everything I have done. I am grateful that I have been able to keep myself alive.
Him: It is amazing how many medical practitioners go straight to labeling something a mental health problem simply because they can’t figure it out!
Me: Yes, I am very aware of how often a mental health issue is the default diagnosis.
Him: Normally, we would be starting with testing, but because of everything you have done along the way, we already have all of the test results we need to get started.
Me: That is excellent news!
Ahead of the appointment, I had provided his team with my 2-page patient summary covering the last 20+ years, my medication/supplement list, and all of my test results from the last year. During the appointment, we reviewed various test results from the last 20+ years, and by the end of the appointment, he asked me to send his team my test results from the last 5 years.
He also let us know that this may be a long process due to everything my body has been through, but he hopes to be able to help me start to feel better in the next few months.
Home Building Process:
Let’s just say that it is going. 🤣 There have been some highs and some lows.
Emotional Health:
After the appointment with this practitioner and his team, my husband and I both immediately said that this appointment felt right. This practitioner and his team feel like the next right step. My husband even told me that he started tearing up during the appointment, because it was the first time in a long time that a medical practitioner had the knowledge we need and also treated me like an equal. My husband has been by my side through many appointments with medical practitioners who have had huge egos and have been threatened by my intelligence and my level of knowledge about my situation, so it was a huge relief for him to witness a medical practitioner treating me like the asset that I am in this process. I have learned a lot along the way, and I am the expert of my body and my experience, so I have valuable information to add to this process. My husband is grateful that I was seen by this practitioner for who I actually am and what I bring to the table.
(credit: @case.kenny on IG)
While both my husband and I feel like this practitioner and his team are the next right step, we have no way of knowing if they will get us to the *end* of this journey. They might only be able to get us to whatever the next step is, but that is all we need. Some of the science this practitioner was sharing with us are topics my husband and I have been discussing for many years. We are both cautiously optimistic that this practitioner and his team can get us significantly closer to the root cause.
I told my husband after the appointment that I was a little self-conscious about the brain fog I was experiencing during the appointment when it took me noticeably longer than usual to recall certain words. Here is how our conversation went:
Me: My brain fog was on full display when I was having trouble recalling some words. It was a little embarrassing.
Husband [laughing]: Your brain with *brain fog* functions at a higher level than 99% of the population. I don’t want you talk to me about brain fog ever again. 🤣
I am grateful that my chiropractor/acupuncturist knows me and my situation well enough — and also cares about me enough — to advocate for me on my behalf. Regardless of how it all goes with this new practitioner and his team, I am forever grateful for the people who have my back on this health journey.
Brutal. Trying to figure out next steps on this health journey. Brain fog.
Beautiful. Taking each next right step as it comes on this health journey. A new potential practitioner who feels like the next right step. A husband who claps the loudest when I win and sits the closest when I don’t. A chiropractor/acupuncturist who cares about me enough to advocate for me on my behalf.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
