We Made It!

Physical Health:
We are still in Step 1 of the tentative treatment plan:

Due to the fact that my physical symptoms have been increasing over the last 2 months, my main doctor halted our attempts to enter into Step 2f above. Instead, she ordered more blood, saliva, and hair testing to update previous test results. I completed the hair sample test first, and those results showed more areas that need to be addressed before moving to a different Step in the process. Because of this, she delayed my blood test and saliva test for after the New Year to give us time to try to address the hair sample results.

I was also able to get my two iron infusions completed a few weeks ago. Prior to my appointments, the hospital’s pre-registration team tried to get me to pay for my infusions in advance. I declined, so they tried to bully me into it. The third person who contacted me became irate when I informed her that I was not going to pay in advance, and she made sure to tell me that she was recording the call. I continued to decline and told her that I was glad that she was recording the call so that her supervisors would know why I was not going to pay in advance. I reiterated that I would be happy to pay for my iron infusions once my insurance company completed its process. (This is one of my only medical treatments covered by my health insurance, so I am definitely going to wait for the process to be completed.) The EOB I received from my insurance company two weeks later confirmed that the hospital’s pre-registration team was, in fact, trying to charge me more than what I owed. Good thing I am smart and capable of asserting myself as needed and didn’t pay in advance. This is another example of why people who live alongside chronic illness are exhausted. Even after I pre-registered online, I was contacted 3 times by the hospital prior to my iron infusion appointments for something that was unnecessary and time consuming. And, iron infusions are only one small part of my healthcare plan. Multiply the time spent on this situation by 100.

Emotional Health:
Despite the increase in my physical symptoms, I continue to feel an immense amount of Inner Peace. I feel the healthy range of emotions and feelings, and I am riding the waves like a boss. I feel sturdy.

I am grateful for my main doctor who has been a blessing since we started with her in late April. She is taking the time to really focus on my situation. She started her own practice 2 months ago, and I can tell that she is trying to build a reputation that is separate from her previous employer. She has spent more time on my individual case than my previous practitioner did in two years. Even if she doesn’t end up being the medical practitioner who gets us exactly where we want to be, she will do her best to get us closer, and that is all we can really ask of her. I included these words at the end of my message to her last week:

I have also taken some time to celebrate the wins. During a particularly difficult set of physical symptoms two weeks ago, I took a few minutes, once again, to thank my husband for our life together. Here is what I said to him:

“If something happens to me, I want you to know how proud I am of us. All of my dreams for an emotionally-safe and deeply intimate relationship have come true. We did the work, and we made it! I love you so much!”

This doesn’t mean that we are done and don’t have more work to do. Being the best humans we can be is a never-ending work in progress. However, it is important to me to take time to appreciate and celebrate the work we have done and continue to do. From the day my husband and I met, we have had a unique and special connection, but having a connection is not enough to make a relationship last. Each person has to be willing to do the work to keep the connection alive and the relationship strong. Our life together is not how we envisioned it would go, so it would be easy to shut down and close ourselves off. Instead, we have made a commitment to work on ourselves as individuals and jointly as a couple to make sure our relationship continues to thrive.

What I know for sure is that if one person in a relationship is not willing to do the work, or isn’t self-aware enough to know that they need to do the work, then the relationship will not survive the most difficult times in life. I have seen this firsthand in many other scenarios in my life, so having a partner who does the work with me is extremely important to me.

Last week, I was sharing what I told my husband with our amazing therapist. She responded by telling us that we are a power couple. She made sure to explain that she doesn’t mean power in the traditional sense, but power in relation to how strong we are as a couple. She has reminded us on several occasions throughout our work together that most couples in our situation are not as proactive as we are. She has always been impressed by our willingness to address whatever needs to be addressed in order to keep our relationship thriving. We don’t bypass the hard stuff, and that is what makes us powerful individuals who, together, form a powerful couple.

The fact that our therapist, who is highly regarded in her field, is proud of the work we have done as individuals and as a couple means a lot. My husband and I are both intrinsically motivated people, but words of affirmation coming from her are definitely icing on the cake.

In addition, the fact that I have this level of intimacy and connection in my marriage despite our circumstances is not something I take for granted. And, the fact that my husband feels the exact same way is beyond my wildest dreams. We did the work, and we made it! ❤️

When you get the chance, make sure to take the time to celebrate the wins in your life! My husband and I will definitely take all the wins we can get!

Brutal. Increase in physical symptoms. Dealing with hospital pre-registration teams.

Beautiful. A doctor who is thoughtful and paying attention. Doing the work as individuals and as a couple. Thriving as a team. Our amazing therapist. Celebrating the wins in life.

Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.