For as long as I can remember, I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up. I originally wanted to be an elementary teacher since that was all I knew. When I entered high school, I began to suspect that I wanted to be a high school teacher. By the end of high school, my plans had solidified. I wanted to share both my enthusiasm for math and my “unusual-for-my-age wisdom” frequently referenced by others with the next group of adolescents.
I loved being a high school math teacher, but when health issues surfaced early in my career, my heart went in a different direction. I still wanted to be a teacher, but I wanted teach in a more individualized setting. I wanted to pursue my passion of supporting students in multiple facets of their education (intellectual, social, and emotional growth).
Like most good teachers, my job became bigger than what was written on paper. When my health took another turn for the worse 16 years into my teaching career, and it became clear to me that I needed to make my health my top priority, I made the decision to leave my dream teaching job. I wasn’t going to be able to continue doing my job in the way my students deserved. My health had been declining for a while, and I was resisting the inevitable. I knew that I needed to let go of the resistance and accept the reality of my life in that moment.
Deciding to leave my dream job within the span of two days was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make, but it was simultaneously simple. I knew it was necessary at that time even though I didn’t want it to be necessary. I have known for a long time that two things can be true at the same time, and this situation was no different.
I had no idea at the time what would be next for me. There was so much uncertainty in every aspect of my life. The only certainty I felt at the time was how much I loved my husband. He was 100% behind my decision, and that was an immense blessing. I am well aware that not everyone has the level of support that I have in my marriage. A few of my family members and close friends were also right there with me. I will never forget the people who stuck with me through this life detour.
(credit: @case.kenny on IG)
It has been 7 years since I resigned from my high school teaching job. Next month, my teaching license will expire. I have exhausted all of my options for keeping my license active. Not a lot of people know how much work is required to keep a teaching license active if someone is not an employee of a school district. Over the last few years, I have had to reconcile the fact that my teaching license would likely expire before I would be well enough to do the work to keep it active. My husband and I had several conversations about this topic over the last few years, and we both agreed that there was not much I could do about it. I have barely had the energy to keep up with my health situation and full-time wage-producing job, so adding one more item to my list of things to do would have been nearly impossible for someone in my situation. However, it still stings. This is not how I pictured my life going.
So, what’s next? I still have no idea. As I have mentioned many times, I have had to become very comfortable with uncertainty.
I have only ever seen myself in a career in education, so the path forward will be interesting to say the least. I don’t regret my multiple college degrees and certifications in K-12 education. My formal education and the 16 years I spent as a public school teacher were instrumental in my development as a human. Now that I have been out of education for 7 years, I can confidently say that anyone who has been a (good) teacher at some point in their life can be successful at anything else as long as it doesn’t require a separate license (doctor, nurse, etc.). The skills a person develops as a master teacher can be transferred to almost any other profession, and the speed at which these skills must be utilized each day as an educator is beyond comprehension for most people outside of education. Knowing how to effectively communicate verbally and in written form, solving problems, thinking critically, being a good teammate, conflict resolution, handling situations in a professional manner, etc. . . . all of these skills are valuable in so many areas of life.
The lingering question is this: Am I still a teacher if I don’t have an active teaching license? My college degrees say yes. And, I have had more than a few people tell me that I am still teaching them about life even though I am no longer in a classroom setting. I am someone who loves learning in general, and I especially love learning from the experiences of others, so I hope that my path forward continues to include learning and teaching in some way. It won’t be the traditional career in education, but there are so many opportunities to teach outside of a traditional classroom setting. My goal has always been to contribute to society in a positive way, so we will see what life has in store for me next.
For now, I am just taking it one day at a time. That is all I can do given all of the uncertainty in my life. I guess it is a good thing that I have had a lot of practice getting comfortable with uncertainty. 🤣
Brutal. Expiring teaching license. Living with so much uncertainty.
Beautiful. Showing up for myself when I needed myself the most. Making myself a priority. My people who have stuck with me on this life detour. Gaining skills as a teacher that transfer to all areas of life. Finding joy in the uncertainty. Imagining the beautiful things to come.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 