Physical Health:
We are still in Step 1 of the tentative treatment plan:
Some people have asked me what Step 1 entails. There are too many pieces to be able to give a complete rundown, but I can give a general overview. Basically, my most recent test results indicated that my liver, kidneys, and adrenal glands are not functioning at their best due to the overload of infections and toxins in my body. In response, my doctor is having me take some very specific vitamins and minerals to help boost the functionality of these organs. I am also still taking some toxin-binding supplements that help with the removal of toxins from my body. This will hopefully continue to alleviate some of the stress on these organs.
There hasn’t been much change in how I am feeling physically, but I am not expecting much to change right now even if we are on the right path. Since my body is in such a physical deficit, it is probably going to take a while before I notice much difference. However, there was one positive change this month that was remarkable, and I am hoping that the change is tangible proof that we are on the right track, and it is not just a fluke.
I am choosing to view the one positive physical change this month as a win unless I am presented with different information.
Emotional Health:
As I have mentioned previously, the last few months have been some of the most challenging of our life so far. My husband and I have been doing the emotional work, but there have been some definite peaks and valleys. The fact that we don’t have a clear path ahead and have to make so many decisions without having all of the necessary information definitely takes its toll on both of us. We each do our best, but it is easy to fall back into old patterns to cope. When I sense that we are falling back into old patterns, I make sure that we keep working through the situation until we find resolution. When the old patterns present themselves, it usually indicates that fear is coming up for one or both of us.
Burnout is another cause of old patterns presenting themselves. My husband and I try to take good care of ourselves in order to prevent burnout. We (mostly) do a good job of preventing burnout in the areas that we can control. However, burnout can also result from factors that are beyond our control. For example, how other people in our lives handle (or don’t handle) my health situation is a stressor we often face. It is not something that we thought we would have to manage while dealing with the most difficult time in our lives, but here we are. We create boundaries when necessary for our health and wellbeing, but the emotional labor involved can still sometimes take a toll.
(credit: @the.holistic.psychologist on IG)
When old patterns do present themselves, my husband and I rely on the hard work we have both put in over the years to build our skills in emotional and nervous system regulation. And, we do a really great job considering the amount of emotional stressors we face on a regular basis. However, there are still times when one or both of us become dysregulated, and it has an impact on our relationship. When this happens, I wonder if we are taking steps backward in the emotional part of the healing journey, so I consciously remind myself that emotional dysregulation can actually be a healthy sign in certain situations.
(credit: @the.holistic.psychologist on IG)
As we continue to work through the tough stuff together, I am regularly reminded of how grateful I am to have my husband as my partner. We are a team, and we don’t give up on each other. In the middle of a particularly challenging therapy session last night, I used the word buoyant to describe what it feels like to have a healthy, interdependent connection with my husband during the most difficult of times. Then, I saw this image today:
What a wonderful moment of synchronicity. Thanks, Universe!
Brutal. Waiting to see how my body responds to Step 1. Having to make so many decisions without all of the necessary information. Old patterns. Dealing with unhealed people.
Beautiful. One positive physical change. Relying on the skills we have built for emotional and nervous system regulation. Being connected to our emotional experiences. Buoyancy. Synchronicity.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 