My husband and I attended our free virtual meet-up with the possible new practitioner in my main doctor’s practice, and we spent the short amount of time we had getting to know her as a practitioner. We feel like she has the potential to be a good match for my situation, so we have decided to switch and make her my main doctor for the foreseeable future. Even though we feel like we were on the right track with my former main doctor, it is sometimes helpful to get a fresh perspective. There are pros and cons to switching, but we feel like a second set of eyes in my case might be helpful at this time. As we have said many times, if we ever feel like we need to change practitioners, medical practices, and/or paths, we will definitely do it. My mission is good health, and I will do whatever it takes to get there.
My new main doctor told us that she works closely with my former main doctor as needed, and my husband and I very much appreciate that collegiality. We can always switch back to my former doctor if we feel like that is what is needed next on this journey. In the meantime, we are excited to get a fresh perspective, because the fresh perspective brings with it a new energy. This journey is hard as hell, but we continue to believe that there is something better waiting on the other side of it all.
The first step in the switch to the new practitioner is getting the hair sample test completed again since I haven’t had that test completed for 2 years. (As a reminder, when I started with this practice 2 years ago, I had multiple markers tested by blood, urine, and hair.) She is also going to look at all of the other tests I have completed both before, and since coming to, this practice to determine if she would like any additional tests to be updated. Because of the need to wait for updated data, my first official appointment with her won’t be until 5-6 weeks from now. While the constant waiting is not my favorite thing to do, I understand why waiting is necessary.
As I am sharing these “middle of my story” details that most people probably don’t really care about, I often find myself wondering if my middle still matters to other people. I don’t have any kind of ending in sight, and most people in our society just want to hear about happy endings to stories. Obviously, the middle matters to me, because it is my life. But, is it having any kind of impact out in the world? As I have mentioned previously, I continue writing this blog in the hopes that my story is helping someone in some way. I have to trust that there is a purpose to all of this vulnerability and sharing. However, I never really know whether or not my story is helping others unless someone tells me.
Well, that is exactly what happened to me last week. A friend of mine told me that she loves reading my blog; it helps her to not feel alone. She said that I am one of the only people she can open up to about what she is going through, and she believes it is because of my willingness to be vulnerable and share my story. She felt horrible telling me that she is glad to know I am going through this, because she feels weird being comforted by someone else’s pain. However, she commented on how we never really know the impact we are having on others, and she is grateful for the impact that my story is having on her. My conversation with her reminded me of this image:
(image: Raidas Eidukaitis)
My story is long and winding instead of being a straight line from start to finish. We are still in the messy middle, and we probably will be for a while. (Couldn’t our whole lives be considered the messy middle?!?) Anyway, on the days when I wonder if sharing the messy middle still matters, this is a reminder that it does matter.
(credit: @roncanimoph)
If more people shared their messy middles, maybe we would all feel more connected to each other. Maybe our world would be a better place. A girl can dream. ❤️
Brutal. Sorting through next steps on the health journey. Sharing my messy middle.
Beautiful. A fresh perspective. A new energy. Finding out that my messy middle is helping someone else. Dreaming of a better tomorrow.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 