A Favor

The last week has been even more of a whirlwind than usual. I was very physically ill last Thursday and into Friday due to one (or all) of the treatment protocols and toxins in my body. There are too many details to include here, but suffice it to say that at least one of the many decisions I had to make over the last 3 weeks involving treatment protocols and SGBs didn’t produce the desired physical outcome. Because of everything happening at once, it has been extremely difficult to understand how to move forward. And, I have 3 different medical practitioners who are currently in the mix (plus a conventional GP, a supplemental chiropractor/acupuncturist, various specialists, and a therapist) which can make coordinating all of the physical stuff a huge challenge. Being in a situation where I am constantly required to blaze my own path for my physical healing is exhausting.

I am relatively used to not having a clear path, but I hit my limit at the end of last week. I was at my physical limit from treatment and toxins (and my limit is extreme compared to most people), and I was also emotionally exhausted. So, I knew that I needed to double down on my tools. I needed to take good care of myself physically, and I also needed to use my tools for my emotional health.

I spent quite a bit of time this weekend using my tools. I was also grateful that we had an extended therapy session with our amazing therapist on Sunday. My focus has been on slowing down and taking it one day at a time.

And, I have been spending quite a bit of time alone as well to make sure that I can hear my own internal voice.

(credit: Yung Pueblo)

My biggest hope is this:

(credit: @case.kenny on IG)

I have been in this thing called life long enough to know that nobody can protect me from my suffering. The only thing I can do is endure it, live through it, be better for it, and run as far as I can in the direction of my best and happiest dreams. My desire to heal is the bridge I will use to get there.

(via Humanity & Peace)

So, you may be wondering why the title of this blog post is what it is. I am asking you for a favor. One of my tools that I use when life is difficult is to remind myself that I am not alone in my suffering. There are so many people who are suffering in their own lives right now. The problem is that many of the people in my life don’t tell me about their suffering, because they think that I am already suffering enough and don’t need to hear about more suffering. While I understand this line of thinking, and I do it to my friends on occasion as well, the lack of connection to others in this way makes me feel less human. I want to know what is going on in the lives of the people I love. I care about the people in my life (you) more than anyone could possibly understand, and I want to hear about your life, too.

The favor I am requesting is this: If you have had to struggle with something lately, and you are willing to be vulnerable and share it with me, please send me a text message or direct message to let me know that I am not alone.

What I know for sure is that we are all in this life together, and I could use the support right now if you are willing to help.

Brutal. Being both physically ill (from treatment and toxins) and emotionally exhausted at the same time.

Beautiful. Taking good care of myself. Relying on my tools. Taking it one day at a time. Guiding myself with my intuition, my values, and my nervous system. Betting on myself over and over again. Running as far as I can in the direction of my best and happiest dreams. Asking for a favor.

Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.