There are a lot of misconceptions about mental health these days. One big misconception is that if a person is experiencing a difficult emotion, then the person is struggling with their mental health.
As a whole, we have been taught by society to believe that if we are sad/angry/frustrated/etc., then we have a mental health issue. If we are anything but happy, then there is a problem.
Well, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Mentally healthy people have feelings that fit the context of a situation and then manage those feelings effectively. If the situation is a sad situation, I should feel sad and then manage that sadness effectively. I shouldn’t be happy about a sad situation. Here is a short video clip that discusses this topic:
Being psychologically flexible and adaptively responding to life’s challenges is important to me. I am tired of our society misunderstanding what it means to be mentally healthy. It can make people believe that they should only have “positive” emotions.
This is a topic that is especially important right now for me personally. By being open in my blog posts about experiencing a wide range of feelings and emotions on my health journey, I open myself up to judgments about my mental health. (And, to be honest, the judgments usually come from people who don’t understand what it means to be mentally healthy and who have never done any mental health work themselves.) The truth of the matter is that by allowing myself to have feelings that fit the context of what I am experiencing, my mental health is more stable than someone who doesn’t allow themselves to have feelings that fit the context.
In addition, there is a stigma associated with mental health issues and assumptions are commonly made about people who struggle with their mental health. However, I believe that mental health is health, and it is way past the time to end the stigma. So, if there is a time when I am struggling with my mental health, I will be sure to share that as well.
On most days, I can experience joy, sorrow, grief, and gratitude all at the same time. I let myself feel whatever feelings arise, and then I give myself a healthy dose of self-compassion if needed. I saw a social media post the other day that I saved to read to myself when it seems appropriate. It is written by Jess Johnston from the “Sister, I am with you” account:
Hey friend,
You’ve been through a lot.
You’ve been crushed, pressed down, and run over by things you didn’t deserve.
And I’m just so sorry.
I wish I could snap my fingers and roll back time. I wish I could stop every single hard thing from ever coming your way.
But I want you to know that I’m so very proud of you. I’m proud of the way you’ve persevered. I’m proud of the way you’ve bravely put one foot in front of the other. I’m proud of the way you’ve gone through fire and you haven’t lost yourself. I’m proud of the way you’ve fought so hard to keep your heart pure. I’m proud of how you have held yourself gently at times, and pushed yourself other times. I’m proud of how you’ve always considered the hearts around you as valuable and precious as your own.
I know you don’t think that you handled it perfectly, but it’s not about that, friend. Life is messy, and we’re going to get messy in it. You’ve handled it really really well.
No, stop finding faults…I mean it. You’ve handled it bravely and beautifully.
You are a warrior. Full stop. And although I would never wish these trials on you (and I wish I could have stopped every single one) as you stand here in these ashes you’ve never been so beautiful.
You inspire me. You make me want to do better.
I know you’re still in the middle of some of it, and I just wanted to tell you (because I don’t tell you enough).
I am so so proud of you.
You’ve totally got this.
And good things are coming.
Love you.
Love,
Me
These words were written as one friend saying them to another friend. However, I can’t think of who I need to be more of a best friend to than myself, so I am saving the words to read to myself when the situation calls for it.
I have a hunch that these words may help others right now, too. I know that there is a lot going on in our country. If you are having a wide range of feelings this week, for any variety of reasons, please know that you are not alone. This is normal given the circumstances. Having feelings that fit the context of the situation is an important part of mental health. Don’t let anyone tell you that you should only be experiencing emotions or feelings that are considered “acceptable” by our society as a whole. Feel whatever feelings are coming up for you. And, if the words above help you in some way, please save them for yourself, too.
Brutal. The many misconceptions about mental health.
Beautiful. Doing my part to change the mental health conversation. Allowing myself to have feelings that fit the context of what I am experiencing. Being my own best friend and giving myself a healthy dose of self-compassion.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 