Finding the Fun

I received this text message from a dear friend of mine right before the holidays:

The message stopped me in my tracks for a couple of reasons. First, it was kind and supportive and loving. She is one of the people I can truly count on for love and support. Second, it reminded me that I really needed to take a break over the holidays and focus on having as much fun as possible. As with most people, my husband and I have so many things happening in our lives right now. In addition, we have a lot on our minds in terms of next steps on the health journey, various appointments to attend, etc. Since we have both become accustomed to this level of busy-ness in our every day lives, we have a wide window of tolerance for busy-ness, and we can sometimes lose sight of how much energy it takes to keep the pace going for extended periods of time.

And, I know that quitting is sometimes the right thing to do in certain situations, but I am not at the quitting stage of this health journey, so I need to take care of myself and rest when I can.

So, resting we did. My husband and I took 2 weeks off from both our wage-producing jobs and discussions about next steps on the health journey. And, we had the best time together (except for the vomiting during week 2 on my part). We laughed a lot! We completed jigsaw puzzles, listened to podcast episodes, watched TV, and did our own individual hobbies and outings. We took time to remember what it was like to live our lives prior to the health stressors. We did some reflecting as individuals and as a couple. And, what came from that time was a renewed sense of who we are as individuals and as a couple. We truly love each other and enjoy spending time together — so much so that we didn’t want to return to our regular lives. What a blessing it is to have been through what we have been through as individuals and as a couple, and to still have such a deep level of friendship, love, and respect for one another. I am well aware that this is not the case for everyone, and especially not for couples who have experienced, or are experiencing, an invisible, complex chronic illness.

As we are getting back to our regular life this week, this tracks:

I actually do feel like I am getting better healthcare than ever before, but it is (mostly) not covered by insurance. And, I have to do so much of the labor and coordination behind the scenes on my own (with the excellent support of my husband).

To ease the transition back to regular life, I keep reminding myself of these things:

1) I picked an excellent life partner.

2) I have some really good people in my life. You know who you are.

(credit: @case.kenny on IG)

3) I have a unique combination of traits that makes me unstoppable.

One thing is for certain: The road ahead is uncertain. According to Glennon Doyle, all I need to do is the next right thing, one thing at a time, and that will take me all the way home.

Brutal. Back to reality.

Beautiful. Taking a break and finding the fun.

Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.