Background: I have a full-time wage-producing job, and I am also the manager of my health journey (another full-time job that is definitely not wage-producing). There are a lot of moving parts in my life: working, talking to doctors, appointments, dealing with insurance, coordinating procedures, labs, treatment protocols, etc. Even with a very supportive and involved husband, the majority of the management and coordination of my health journey is on me. Fortunately, I am organized and efficient, so I am able to manage all of the moving parts relatively well. However, it is exhausting and unsustainable in the long-term. I have been told by my husband, our amazing therapist, and people in our inner circle who are active participants in our daily lives that I am unique in how much I can manage at once. Out of necessity, my window of tolerance for all of the moving parts has expanded with each new obstacle along the way. In fact, I don’t even realize on most days how much is truly on my plate. (My husband tells me that his head starts spinning anytime we get into the details of all of the decisions I have to regularly make.) It is only when I see how others react to all of the moving parts in their own lives that I am able to see how much of a Badass I am in my daily life.
Last night, my husband opened a bill from a laboratory for a blood draw he had in July. The bill showed that we owed way more for the blood test than my husband was expecting. Here is how our conversation went:
Husband [from the kitchen]: This bill from _______ says that we owe way more than we have previously been charged. I am done. I am not having this test completed again.
Me [from the couch]: What? Why? If you need the test, then it is important to have it completed.
Husband: I don’t want to deal with it.
[Thinking that he is being funny, I turn to look at his face and realize that he is actually being serious. I quickly try to wrap my mind around the fact that dealing with this one bill is just too much to bear.]
Me [with as much kindness and patience as possible]: Are you really done “dealing with it” after one bill?
Husband: Yes.
[I look at him with a genuine look of confusion on my face, and after a few seconds, we both burst into laughter.]
Me [trying to be helpful]: Okay, go grab your health notebook, and we can look at previous tests together and try to determine why this bill is higher.
[My husband grabs his notebook. His head is spinning, so I take a few seconds to look through the paperwork and quickly make a plan.]
Me: Tomorrow, you can _________, _________, and __________ to get more information.
Husband: Thank you. I will look at it more tomorrow.
This morning before work . . .
Husband [looking at the bill again]: This bill is due upon receipt. These jokers.
Me: Before you pay, you need to _________, _________, and __________.
Husband [serious and exasperated]: What?!? This is a lot of work for just one bill. This is crazy.
[I look at him for a few seconds while I wait for him to remember to whom he is speaking, and then we both burst into laughter.]
Me: You do realize that this is my life every day all day, while I am also working my wage-producing job, right?
Husband [sighing and laughing]: Yes. I am an adult. I can do this. 🤣
I am so grateful for these moments that provide some humor. ❤️
Brutal. Moving parts that are exhausting and unsustainable in the long-term.
Beautiful. Laughter. Moments that provide some humor. Moments that remind me of my expanded window of tolerance for handling obstacles and what a Badass I truly am.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 