Even though I provide some details about my health situation in my blog posts, I am really only able to provide about 2% of what is actually happening in our world. Most people who read this blog still have no idea what it is like to be in our shoes. The truth of the matter is that they know very few details about our life or my health. They have no idea what conversations we regularly have with my current medical team and mental health provider. They know nothing about the conversations we have had over the last 20+ years with various medical providers and mental health experts. They don’t know about the many discussions that have taken place concerning various treatment options. Even though many people think they know the details of our lives, only a very select group of people in our inner circle know the ins and outs of our situation. And, even then, they can only know so much. It has been an emotionally painful last few months for us due to people thinking they know more than they actually do, so my husband and I have been working together as a team, with the help of our support network, to continue processing recent events. Earlier this week, my husband sent me this screenshot to remind me of how great of a job I am doing with it all:
Here is the latest update . . .
Physical Health:
I am currently in the process of slowly increasing the dosage of the 2nd prescription medication I previously discussed. This prescription is to help with MCAS/histamine reactions in my body. The problem with this prescription medication is that it can cause more nausea, digestive issues, and fatigue, so we have to go extra slow. This process was going well at first, but we have hit a few speed bumps. Last week, I was experiencing increased nausea and extreme fatigue, so I had to slow down even more. This week, I have been holding steady at a certain dosage until I can determine if I will need to stay at this dosage or if I can continue to increase the dosage.
As I stated previously, my doctor told me that I am a really tough and resilient patient compared to many of the patients he sees, so he knows that I will try to push through the symptoms and/or side effects as I have done many times over the years. But, I have to make sure that I don’t push myself beyond what is reasonable. My strong desire to be well cannot overtake the deliberateness of this process.
I continue to struggle with going slow, because I always believe that this process is going to be smoother than it actually is. I have an innate sense of hope and optimism that usually has me believing that I can do anything.
Emotional Health:
I have been doing a great job of healthily moving through a wide range of feelings and emotions, so I am proud of myself overall. And, while I have learned the importance of having healthy boundaries over the last 20+ years, this year, in particular, has been testing my ability to protect my boundaries and love myself. So far, I have been passing the test.
In addition, being brave and living my life according to my own rules is something that has always been important to me, and I am doing that.
Even though my husband and I are hurting right now, I haven’t lost sight of the big picture. We have so many wonderfully supportive people in our lives. And, not to mention, my husband and I have each other, and I am eternally grateful.
(credit: unknown)
Side Note:
As with most technology, the company that hosts this blog regularly has technical difficulties. Here are the latest issues . . .
1) The site sometimes deletes subscribers for no reason. For example, some of my friends have been unknowingly unsubscribed from receiving emails about this blog. I didn’t know this was a problem until I had a few friends inform me that they used to be subscribed, and now they were no longer subscribed for no apparent reason. I have not removed any subscribers, so I am not sure why that is happening. If this happens to you, please let me know.
2) For some subscribers, the email that is being sent out when a new blog post is published is now providing the entire blog post in a weird format instead of just an excerpt of the blog post. Not sure why this is happening either, but the company is working on the issue. It is always best to read the blog posts on the site by clicking the link in the email instead of just reading the email with the funky formatting.
Brutal. Side effects of the medication. An emotionally painful few months.
Beautiful. Listening to my body. Utilizing my support system. Moving through my feelings and emotions in healthy ways. Protecting my boundaries. Loving myself. Living my life according to my own rules. Not losing sight of the big picture.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 