The last few months have been extremely difficult on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual. This last week has been even tougher. Everything has been 50 times harder than it needs to be, and I am working through my feelings.
(credit: unknown)
It is important in these times to feel the feelings instead of thinking my way through them. It is normal and healthy to be emotionally dysregulated at times.
(credit: Dr. Nicole LePera)
Being healthy and emotionally regulated involves having ups and downs, so I have been giving myself the time and space to feel and express it all.
(credit: Dr. Nicole LePera)
I know that I will recover from all of my emotions and return to a parasympathetic state. I have the tools and support system to do that. In fact, I am so good at regulating my nervous system that I am usually unaware of how good I am at it . . . just ask my therapist. When I am worried that I am not doing enough for both my physical and emotional health due to the Medical Gaslighting I have experienced, she reminds me of my skills and abilities in this area.
So, this is me allowing myself to be not okay. This is me allowing myself to be messy and dysregulated. This is me allowing myself to be sad and angry and disappointed.
I am aware of the reality of my situation. I am aware that things are not good. I am also aware that many of you are probably following this journey and laughing at me and my usual optimism, but I just don’t know how to be any other way. I would rather be hopeful and embarrassed than hopeless.
So, this is me allowing myself to be sad and angry and disappointed while simultaneously allowing myself to laugh, choose hope, and be grateful. Life is so weird.
Brutal. Being not okay.
Beautiful. Being an emotionally healthy human and allowing myself to feel all of feelings as they come. Having the knowledge, understanding, tools, and skills to regulate my nervous system.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 