I had 3 emotional experiences in a three-day span at the end of last week that were reminders of the many Beautiful parts of my life. As I have previously stated, my health situation has given me the opportunity to widen the lens through which I see the world, and I have taken full advantage of that opportunity. I have always been very in touch with my feelings and emotions, but my health situation has helped me to be even more aware of my feelings and emotions as well as the feelings and emotions of others. Since I regularly experience the gamut of emotions while living alongside my health situation, I feel things on an even deeper level than I did when I was younger.
The first emotional experience I had was last Thursday evening. I am sure many of you have seen the video clip from the Olympics of Hunter Woodhall cheering for his wife, Tara Davis-Woodhall. In case you missed it, here is a portion of it:
I saw this clip and immediately started crying. It is clear how much Hunter loves Tara and how supportive he is of her dreams. It made me cry, because that is how my husband is with me. He loves me big time and is my biggest supporter. He thinks I am amazing. If I have a win with my health situation, he is just as excited, if not more excited, than I am. He has a front row seat and knows how much I go through on a daily basis, so he is full of joy right there with me. I watched the clip of Hunter and looked at my husband and said, “This is how you are with me. You are the President of my fan club, and I never doubt your support. I am so grateful for you!” In my husband’s eyes, I can see how much he loves, admires, and respects me. I couldn’t ask for more in a husband, and I am filled to the brim with gratitude.
I had the second emotional experience of the week during a therapy session the next day. Our therapist had read my recent blog posts, and before I could update her with the details, she quickly lifted me up with her words. She told me that she would take away all of my pain and suffering if she could, but since she can’t, she wanted me to know that she doesn’t know anyone who would be able to handle my health situation (and the shit that comes with it) better than I am. The way that I listen to my gut and follow my own path even in the face of criticism is not something she regularly sees in her line of work. The fact that I have chosen to use my health situation as an opportunity to learn, grow, and widen the lens through which I see the world instead of becoming hardened and bitter is extraordinary in her eyes. The fact that I am still open, loving, and compassionate is apparently uncommon for most people in similar situations. In addition, she believes that I am providing a powerful example of how to move through life’s challenges by sharing my story and trying to help others along the way.
I was not expecting such kind words to come out of her mouth at that particular moment, so I was emotional. She is always kind, but this endorsement of who I am and how I am trying to live my life from someone with her depth and breadth of knowledge and expertise was unexpected and very much appreciated. I also know her well enough to know that she says exactly what she means, so she wouldn’t say something if she didn’t mean it. And, the only person who knows more than her about me and my lived experience is my husband, so I don’t take her words lightly. In her eyes, I can see her genuine affection and respect for me as a person. I couldn’t ask for more in a therapist, and I am grateful beyond measure.
The following day was the third emotional experience in the three-day span. We had a Cousiblings’ Night scheduled, but someone in the family had very recently had Covid, so my husband and I decided that it was best for us to stay home. On top of that, I woke up that morning and was feeling physically weak and nauseated. I wouldn’t have been able to attend anyway. I had previously planned on driving by the gathering and waving at my Cousiblings, but upon waking, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do that either. I informed my oldest cousin that I wouldn’t be able to do a drive by. As a result, my Cousiblings decided to secretly plan a surprise drive by of my house instead and coordinated it with my husband. That evening, my Cousiblings surprised me by coming to my driveway and reenacting the boombox scene (minus the boombox) from the movie Say Anything and blaring the song “In Your Eyes” from the sound system in the car. Here is the scene:
I was bummed about not feeling well that day, so it was such a wonderful surprise to see my Cousiblings show up for me when I needed it the most. In their eyes, I can see their love and unending support of me. I couldn’t ask for more from them, and I am so very grateful to have them in my life.
There is love all around me, and I don’t ever take it for granted. Most people in my situation aren’t as lucky!
Brutal. The full gamut of feelings and emotions. Physical weakness and nausea. Always having to be prepared to change my plans at a moment’s notice.
Beautiful. The full gamut of feelings and emotions. Being a pro at pivoting when needed. The best husband, therapist, and Cousiblings. Being surrounded by love.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 