We are starting again at the top of the tentative plan for healing, but we are not starting over. Even though we have had to restart many, many times over the last 20+ years, we have more knowledge each time. Even when we need to backtrack, we always gain more data and information with each attempt, and I am grateful for that part.
(credit: @Thrive)
Here is the latest update . . .
Physical Health:
Here is a reminder of the tentative plan for healing and the parts that have been completed:
As I previously stated, the goal is to begin the mold toxicity treatment again at some point, but we have a few steps to complete before then. Since my body had been off of both bacteria and mold treatments for a few months as we were trying to get my body back to baseline, the bacterial overgrowth has come back stronger than ever (and likely mold, too). I have slowly and successfully increased a treatment protocol for bacterial overgrowth in the hopes that it will help kill enough of the bacteria in my body to be able to tackle mold again before we go back to bacteria full-time. Because of this increase, my abdominal pain is at a more manageable level. We are not sure how long I will be on this treatment protocol, but it is helping for now. Yay!
I am also still microdosing a prescription medication (not covered by insurance, of course) that will hopefully reduce my body’s inflammatory response. I have been slowly increasing the dosage every few days, but I still have a few weeks to go before I get to the preferred “low-dose” dosage amount. My body seems to be accepting the medication, and that is super exciting. We are hopeful that I can continue to increase the dosage amount to eventually reach the dosage that is the most helpful for people in my situation.
I have sent a message to my main doctor to verify the next step. We discussed the next step at my appointment last week, but the session notes he uploaded to the patient portal did not include this step. If everything continues to go well with both the treatment protocol for bacterial overgrowth and the prescription medication to reduce my body’s inflammatory response, then we will likely move forward with a 2nd prescription medication (not covered by insurance, of course). If this is still the route he recommends, then I will make an appointment to get the prescription from the Nurse Practitioner in his practice (similar to what we did with the first prescription medication). This is all designed to help my body have a higher acceptance rate for future treatment protocols.
In the last few weeks, I have succeeded in slowly increasing the amount of time each day that I use my castor oil pack. The castor oil pack is an external way to help my liver with detoxification. I have reached the total amount of usage time per day that my main doctor has recommended, so I will be holding steady at my current amount of usage time per day for now. I am grateful that I have been able to complete this goal while also doing the above mentioned items.
In addition, as I have previously mentioned, now that the cavitation surgery sites in my mouth have healed, it is time to determine next steps concerning my bite and braces (not covered by insurance, of course, since I am over the age of 18). This week, we visited the 2nd orthodontist to gather more information about possible routes to take. In case you need a refresher, I was given bad dental advice from a dentist 15 years ago, and now I have a problem with my bite. We are in the process of determining how and when to proceed with next steps. The situation is complicated due to the fact that certain parts of the process won’t work if we start before my body is in a physically better place. However, we also don’t want to wait too long and cause permanent damage to my teeth and jaw. This orthodontist (and his staff) was very kind and spent more time explaining the situation and options to us. He said that we can take our time to determine next steps along with the timing of the next steps. He was not as much of an alarmist as my regular dentist or the first orthodontist we visited. My husband and I both commented on the drive home about how different we feel after medical appointments with kind and empathetic practitioners who don’t interrupt us or talk over us when we are responding to their questions. We have had so many bad experiences and are both immediately aware of the relief we feel after appointments with kind and empathetic practitioners. (The staff also reminded us that our insurance doesn’t cover braces for me since I am over the age of 18. Yes, we are aware. 🤣 Just add braces to the list of items not covered by my insurance.)
Emotional Health:
One of the aspects of chronic illness that is not regularly discussed is having to consistently explain to others how it feels to be in our situation, especially for someone like me who has an invisible, complex chronic illness. It seems to be difficult at times for others to put themselves in our shoes. When I am in a situation that requires another person to see something from my perspective, and they refuse to even try, it is shocking to me. I have always been an empathetic person, but I have also taken full advantage of the opportunity my health situation has given me to widen the lens through which I see the world. If given the chance, it is easy for me to see a situation from someone else’s perspective. And, isn’t the goal to be able to shift our perspective and see where other people are coming from? It definitely takes an emotional toll to have to regularly explain my feelings and emotions to others who have little interest in shifting their perspectives. I have found myself in this situation a couple of times in recent weeks, and it has reminded me of a few things:
1) I should be proud of the work I have done over the last 20+ years in the areas of personal growth and emotional maturity. The expectation I have for myself is that I will always be willing to work on myself instead of allowing myself to become stagnant. I am not perfect, by any means, but the work I have done speaks for itself.
2) Surrounding myself with people who similarly value personal growth, kindness, and compassion should continue to be my priority. I want to be around people who inspire me to be the best person I can be.
3) As long as I remain loving, compassionate, and respectful in my interactions with others, then the way others love, communicate, and behave towards me has more to do with themselves than with me.
(credit: unknown)
4) I have wonderful people in my life who consistently show up to support me. They leave me feeling emotionally well, cared for, and enough. What a gift they are to me, and I don’t take them for granted.
The Olympics:
Go Team USA! My husband and I have been continuing to find joy in the little things, but for the last two weeks, we have also been finding joy in the big thing: The Olympics! We love the Olympics! Our favorite events are Women’s Gymnastics, M&W Swimming, and M&W Track and Field, but there has been excitement all around. I love to see the athletes supporting each other, too. And, of course, Snoop Dogg! So much fun!!!
Brutal. Starting again (restart #853 🤣). People who don’t have any interest in shifting their perspectives or widening the lens through which they see the world.
Beautiful. Starting again from experience. Successful increase in treatment for bacterial overgrowth that has resulted in less abdominal pain. My body’s acceptance of microdosing amounts of the first of two potential prescription medications. Increasing the amount of usage time for the castor oil pack without any known side effects. Always being willing to work on myself. Taking full advantage of the opportunity my health situation has given me to widen the lens through which I see the world. Surrounding myself with people who similarly value personal growth, kindness, and compassion. Choosing to be loving, compassionate, and respectful in my interactions with others. Remembering that the way others love, communicate, and behave has more to do with them than with me. Relationships that leave me feeling emotionally well, cared for, and enough. The Olympics!
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 