This has been a difficult week.
Here is the latest update . . .
Physical Health:
As a reminder, I am currently at 50% of the full dosage of this current Lyme treatment protocol. My body seemed to handle 1 day “off” between Lyme treatment days relatively well, so I tried 0 days “off” between treatment. It was going relatively well for the first few days, but then the side effects began increasing at a rapid pace. Some of the current side effects include a mild face rash, headaches, brain fog, tooth and gum pain, sinus pain, ear popping, fatigue, stomach pain, hormone imbalance, and mild nervous system dysregulation. Knowing my tendency to keep going even when I am supposed to slow down, I forced myself to take 1 day off of treatment on Day 7. Then, I tried to start treatment again the next day, and I was able to do 2 more days of treatment before I needed to take another day off (today). I am guessing that this is my body’s way of saying that 0 days off between treatment days is not going to work, and I need to take 1 day off between treatment days moving forward. However, only time will tell.
I am disappointed, but I am not surprised. At this point, I am just hoping that I can complete the full 21 days of treatment with only 1 day off between treatment days. It is possible that the build up in my body could cause more detours, so send positive energy and/or prayers our way.
Emotional Health:
I would say that our emotional/mental health has been healthy. By that, I mean that we are having the appropriate feelings at the appropriate times. We have been struggling some emotionally . . . which is normal for people in our situation. This is hard, and if we were reacting to the events in our life in a straight line, then that would be unhealthy. So, yay us for having healthy ups and downs.
Kate Bowler, a professor, speaker, podcast host, and New York Times bestselling author, recently reinforced what our amazing therapist always says:
Due to everything going on physically and emotionally, I have been extra focused on using my tools and relying on my supportive people.
One of the hardest parts for me is witnessing how much of an impact my chronic illness has on my husband as the caregiver. The physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual toll it takes on him is not lost on me.
There is not a day that goes by that I don’t worry about the impact on him, but on the days when the impact is more obvious than usual, I can easily start to feel like a burden. I have to continually remind myself that the illness is the burden, not me. I am not gonna lie, though. It is hard to remember that I am not the burden when I see the person I love the most really struggling. When this happens, I have to really focus on using my tools. And, as hard as it is, I have to remember that it is my husband’s job to use his tools. I can be there to gently encourage and lovingly support him as his spouse, but he has to be the one to focus on self-care and using his tools for nervous system regulation. Just like he would do for me if he could, I would eliminate the pain and stress for him if I could, but I can’t.
[Side Note: If you know and love my husband, please send him a message of support today. And, a special thank you goes to my brother for checking in on him in the way that you do. I see you, and it means more than you know! ❤️]
What I know for sure is that my husband and I love each other beyond measure, and I could not be any more grateful for our relationship.
Brutal. Side effects from Lyme treatment. Treatment detours. The impacts of my chronic illness on my husband.
Beautiful. Listening to my body and slowing treatment down when needed. Using my tools and relying on my supportive people. My husband and our relationship.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 