This Brutiful Life

(credit: unknown)

So far, this has been a good week. My husband texted me the image above on Monday, and I thought maybe others could use the reminder as well: You just have to take one “are you fucking kidding me” at a time. I have been repeating it in my head ever since my husband shared it with me, and I even sent it to my oldest cousin to help relieve some of her work stress. Feel free to save it and go back to it whenever you need the reminder. 

Here is the latest update and other tidbits . . .

Physical Health:
I have been able to work my way up to 50% of the full dose of the treatment protocol for Lyme (which is where my doctor wants me to stay at for now), and now I am working on decreasing the days between treatment to either 0 or 1. Once I have that accomplished, then I will complete 21 full days of treatment (which could last 42 days depending on 0 or 1 days between). Decreasing the days between treatment has been hard on my body, so I am not sure how long this will take. I am trying my first day of treatment today with only 1 day “off” between the last treatment day. This means that the next few days could be just fine, or they could be a real shitshow. The uncertainty in our life is always so much fun! 🤣

The fact that I am at 50% of the full dose and able to try my first day of only a 1 day break between treatment days is a victory, though. We will probably need to circle back around to Lyme at some point, but for now, let’s all do a little dance for this small victory. 💃

Here is a reminder of the tentative plan for healing and the parts that have been completed (click on image to make it bigger):

Emotional Health:
My nervous system has been mildly dysregulated this week due to the treatment for Lyme. Both the treatment protocol and the toxins that are created from “die off” during treatment can lead to nervous system dysregulation, so I try to be extra mindful when I notice this happening. I have been using many of my tools to try to regulate my nervous system, and they seem to be working. I have been going on my regular walks and doing my walking prayer/meditation (for lack of a better description), using deep breathing exercises, snuggling with my husband in order to co-regulate with him, verbally expressing my feelings to move through them, finding the humor and laughing whenever possible, and texting friends for support.

I am so grateful that I am able to notice when I am feeling dysregulated so that I can double down on using my tools and asking for support when needed. As a whole, our society is excessively emotionally independent and needs to learn how to become more emotionally interdependent. And, I am no exception. Becoming more emotionally interdependent is something that I actively work on every single day.

Overall, I am really proud of myself for the work I have done, and continue to do, in the emotional health category.

Other Happenings:
Last weekend, my husband made me some homemade beef stock. (Are we living in the year 1900 or 2024? Some days, I’m not sure.) I consume bone stock to provide my body with additional nutrients. Certain bones are better for this process than others. We can buy the kind of stock I need online, but it is really expensive. We have made homemade stocks before, but we decided to get more organized around it. We bought little jars to use for freezer storage instead of using plastic freezer storage bags. We are hoping this will be easy and save even more money along the way.

Also, we have already had 7.5 inches of snow this week. We have the privilege of working from home, so we have been enjoying the quiet that comes when the world around us is forced to slow down.

Our microwave also stopped heating food this week. A few years ago, we had to buy new appliances for our kitchen. Our microwave was still working most days, but it was starting to show signs of dying. So, when we bought the other appliances, we also bought a new microwave. Since the old one was still working, we kept it in our basement for emergencies. When our new microwave stopped working this week, and we had a snowstorm on the way, I became very grateful that we kept that old microwave. Here is what our kitchen looks like until we can repair/replace the microwave that is no longer working. An interesting way to get the job done, isn’t it? (Please notice the wood planks that the old microwave has to sit on. 🤣)

People always say that life would be boring if it wasn’t full of adventures. Um, okay.


Brutal. Side effects from Lyme treatment. A microwave surprise.

Beautiful. Increasing Lyme treatment to 50% of full dose. Tools for nervous system regulation. Being more emotionally interdependent. Homemade beef stock made by my husband. Not having to leave the house during snowstorms. Keeping old microwaves for emergencies.


Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.