The grand total for how much my husband and I spent out-of-pocket on my health situation in 2023 is $82,774.35. The breakdown is as follows: $47,286.55 on medical practitioners, testing, medications, treatments, and therapy, and $35,487.80 on home mold testing, remediation, air quality supports, etc.
In a blog post published in early January 2023, I predicted that we would spend $50,000-$70,000 out-of-pocket on medical bills in 2023, and that was a conservative prediction. If I had been able to continue doing Biofeedback throughout the entire year as I had hoped, then my prediction for medical expenses alone would have been accurate. This was before we knew who my next doctor was going to be and before we knew we would need to check for mold in our home.
Once again, I hesitated to be so transparent about the amount we spent this year. There will likely be more criticism sent our way about our expenditures from people who are not in our situation — people who have nothing better to do than to contribute to someone’s pain instead of contributing to their healing. However, I wanted to be transparent in order to discuss the financial devastation that can occur with chronic illness right here in the U.S.A. We are not rich. (I am a former teacher for crying out loud.) And, there has been an exorbitant amount of money paid out-of-pocket for my medical expenses for many, many years. Is it easy for us to spend this kind of money? No. Does it cause stress? Yes times a million. The question remains: How much is my life worth? The burden that I feel on a daily basis due to the financial implications from my health situation is difficult to put into words, and this is how it feels even though I have a husband who is fully supportive in doing whatever it takes to try to save my life. We are both fully aware of the number of chances we have left to save my life, so we are both doing whatever we can to try to make that a reality. Imagine how I would feel if my husband was not as supportive. I am grateful for him every single day.
We are hoping that there will be fewer medical and home environment expenses in 2024, but only time will tell. My main doctor, treatments, most medications, therapy, and support practitioners are not covered by health insurance. And, anything we have to do for our home environment is not expected to be covered by homeowners insurance.
Despite the enormous financial burden my health situation puts on us, I know that we are the lucky ones. First of all, I am still alive. Also, I know that we won’t be able to swing these costs indefinitely, but for now, we are figuring out a way to make it work. In addition, I have access to appropriate medical care (even if 99.9% of it is not covered by health insurance). Finally, I am very aware that many people don’t have the love and support that I have from those closest to me.
(image credit: unknown)
While I agree with the image above, I think it is even more accurate to say that life is simultaneously amazing, awful, ordinary, and mundane. Life is both brutal and breathtakingly beautiful at the same time. Even though I am in the messy middle of the most difficult time of my life to date, I am so very grateful to still be here.
Brutal. The financial burden of trying to save my life. The criticism from others who have no idea what it is like to be in our situation on a daily basis. Being in the messy middle of the most difficult time of my life to date.
Beautiful. Making the finances work. The most supportive spouse. Having access to appropriate medical care. Knowing that my life is worth the financial burden. The support of people who want to be part of our healing instead of our hurting. Being alive.
[Side note: This will be the last blog post for 2023. The blog posts published in 2024 will continue to be located on the blog homepage as they have previously been, and they will also be listed on the 2024 blog page in order to continue organizing posts by year.]
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 