This Brutiful Life

Here is the latest update . . .

Physical Health:
There is not much to update in this area. We are still very slowly trying to help my body with detoxification before we resume the plan for fighting the pathogens in my body. As I have explained previously, it is a very, very slow process. If I try to do more than one change at a time, we might push my body too hard and then not know where the problem occurred. I know slow and steady is the only route to my eventual healing, so I understand the process and the patience that is required. There are times when I wish the path to healing could be faster, but I know from experience that this is actually the fastest path for my particular body.

One piece of good news is that I temporarily have a tiny bit more energy. I don’t know if this is the result of the iron infusions, or my body’s increased level of detoxification, or both, or something else, but I am definitely here for it. (I have had iron infusions on numerous occasions over the last 2.5 years, and they don’t usually impact my energy level due to everything else going on in my body.) I am well aware that when we start fighting the pathogens in my body again, my energy levels will probably decrease, but I will take this temporary increase as a win.


Home Environment:
We received the results from the new type of mold testing that was completed in our home a few weeks ago. There is a lot of information that we need to process. We also need to discuss the results with the various professionals before we have any idea what our next step is. And, since it is the holiday season, all of these discussions will be delayed quite a bit. The good news is that our house still seems to be built well and is a healthy environment for most people. However, as we have been told many, many times, I am a special case. There are a lot of paths forward and still a lot of unknowns for someone in my situation.

We keep reminding each other that we don’t have to figure it all out right now. We just need to gather more information and determine the next step. That’s it. Then, we will gather more information and determine the next step after that. And, so on.

And, the best part is that we don’t have to do it alone.


Emotional Health:
My last 4-5 blog posts are a good representation of this area of my health right now. As is normal and healthy for someone in my situation, I have a variety of feelings and emotions throughout any given week.

I had a friend ask me recently how I know so much about mental/emotional health. Say what? I am not sure how much I actually know. As stated in Lost and Found, there are some days when I feel like I have learned something along the way, and other days when I feel like I have learned nothing at all. With that being said, any knowledge gained on my health journey concerning mental and emotional health can be attributed to the following 2 factors:

1) My goal has always been to be the healthiest person I can be in all areas of my life. I have always been a seeker. I have always been interested learning and growing as a person. I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t interested in learning more about myself and the world around me. And, mental/emotional health is an area of particular interest for me given the mental health challenges that are prevalent on one side of my family. I am constantly seeking knowledge on this topic from reputable sources in order to further my own personal growth and understanding. It has become clear to me that applying my seeking nature to all aspects of my health and wellness is one of the main reasons I am still alive.

2) We have an amazing therapist. I have been using therapy as a resource on and off over the last 20+ years, but we made a conscious choice 2.5 years ago to regularly see a therapist who specializes in chronic illness and trauma. We are committed to doing the work that is required to be the best we can be for ourselves and for each other. Finding a therapist who has such an incredible amount of knowledge and experience has been such a gift, and then to find one who is also a good fit for our specific situation is just icing on the cake. (I am also very aware that therapy is a privilege and not accessible to everyone, so I don’t take it for granted.)


What I know for sure is that my knowledge and understanding of any topic can change from one moment to the next. I am just doing my best in this life like everyone else, and the most loving thing I can do for myself is to remember that every single day.


Brutal. A snail’s pace. So many unknowns all of the time.

Beautiful. Gaining more information. Learning new things. Having supportive family, friends, mold professionals, and medical and mental health practitioners on this journey with us.


Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.

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