Including upcoming payments to our house contractors in the next week, my husband and I will have spent $66,909.95 on my health situation since January 1st of this year. The breakdown is as follows: We have spent $37,034.05 so far on medical practitioners, testing, medications, treatments, and therapy, and we have spent $29,875.90 so far on home mold testing, remediation, etc.
In a blog post published in early January, I predicted that we would spend $50,000-$70,000 out-of-pocket on medical bills in 2023, and that was a conservative prediction. This was before we knew who my next doctor would be and before we knew that we would need to check into mold, so this estimate was solely for medical costs. My prediction seems to be on target so far for medical bills alone for the entire year.
I wish that I was able find medical practitioners and treatment that worked for me and were covered by insurance. However, if you have read my entire story from the beginning, you know that hasn’t been possible so far. I remain hopeful that our medical system will operate in a much more functional way someday. Until then, my only options seem to be medical practitioners that require direct pay and treatments that are not covered by insurance.
I briefly hesitated to be so transparent about the amount we have spent so far this year. There will likely be criticism sent our way about our expenditures from people who are not in our situation — people who have nothing better to do than to contribute to someone’s pain instead of contributing to their healing. However, I wanted to be transparent in order to discuss the financial devastation that can occur with chronic illness right here in the U.S.A. We are not rich. I am a former teacher for crying out loud. And, there has been an exorbitant amount of money paid out-of-pocket for my medical expenses for many years. Is it easy for us to spend this kind of money? No. Does it cause stress? Yes times a million. The question remains: How much is my life worth? The burden that I feel on a daily basis due to the financial implications from my health situation is difficult to put into words, and this is how it feels even though I have a husband who is fully supportive in doing whatever it takes to try to save my life. Imagine how I would feel if my husband was not as supportive. There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful for the support of my husband.
Even though there is a huge financial burden, we are making it work. I often think about the people who can’t swing these types of medical bills and also don’t have support from those close to them. I can’t even imagine how that would feel, and I am grateful that, so far, I don’t have to imagine it.
In various situations over the years, I have overheard people say, “I don’t know why _____ won’t go to therapy or seek out the medical care they need.” I think it is important to remember that medical care of ALL kinds is becoming more and more expensive, and it is a privilege to be able to have access to medical care even when it is a huge financial burden. Not everyone has that privilege.
Brutal. The financial burden of trying to save my life. The criticism from others who have no idea what it is like to be in our situation on a daily basis.
Beautiful. Making the finances work. Having access to appropriate medical care. The most supportive spouse. Knowing that my life is worth the financial burden. The support of people who want to be part of our healing instead of our hurting.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 