Everything was going really well with my oral surgery recovery, or so I thought. I had my normal headaches, ear pain, etc., but since I have those symptoms most of the time, I didn’t think much of it.
Then, all of a sudden, my cheek became swollen. I didn’t have a fever, and the inside of my mouth looked normal, so I wasn’t sure how to proceed. I called the holistic/biological dentist. Since the symptoms were inconsistent, he was good with me trying some things prior to taking oral antibiotics. I tried a bunch of my usual home remedies along with biofeedback, a chiropractic adjustment, and acupuncture. All of these were helpful, but none seemed to eliminate the sinus pain, ear pain, cheek swelling, and jaw pain.
For a couple of days, it was really confusing. Situations like this can be triggering for me due to the emotional trauma that I have experienced from the medical community. Since previous doctors have blamed me for things not going as planned even though I have always been a model patient, it can be very easy for me to start questioning and/or blaming myself.
One of the ways I know I am healing is that I was able to recognize the thoughts coming into my mind as trauma responses and rewrite the script. It was not easy, and I had to stay mindful. I shared my thoughts and feelings with my husband as they were happening, and he was able to support me and remind me that it was the trauma talking. He frequently reminded me that I have literally done everything (and beyond) asked of me during this oral surgery recovery process, so this was beyond my control. I also contacted a few people who are always supportive and asked for words of encouragement. And, I relied on my health and wellness support team for assistance. Most importantly, I kept rewriting the script in my head. I first allowed myself to feel the very normal and valid feelings about what is currently happening. Then, when I noticed thoughts based on my previous emotional trauma, I changed the narrative. I know who I am and that I am a model patient, so my previous doctors do not deserve free real estate in my head. I am working really hard to not let that fucking bullshit take up space in my life. It is a process, and I am winning that fight!
Since the home remedies and other methods weren’t eliminating the physical symptoms, the holistic/biological dentist prescribed oral antibiotics this morning. Oral antibiotics are really hard on my body, so I try to only take them if medical practitioners believe they are a necessity. We may also need to travel back to the holistic/biological dentist in the neighboring state next week. That is TBD by the dentist as more information becomes available. I am really glad that I decided to use the recommended holistic/biological dentist within driving distance instead of traveling across the country to some of the other recommended options. It is important for me to expect that everything will always go as planned and to not hold onto any past experiences, but I also need to be prepared in case we need to pivot. It is a difficult balance to be smart and think ahead about all possible outcomes while also trying to visualize and manifest only the best outcomes.
I am assuming we will be pausing my regular treatment protocol with my current doctor (functional medicine chiropractor), once again, but I have a message into him to see what he says.
What I know for sure is that whatever happens, I will continue to show up for myself. I am worth it. And, I will rely on my supportive people as well.
Brutal. Oral surgery recovery not going as planned. The emotional trauma inflicted by the medical community when it should be doing no harm.
Beautiful. Healing from past emotional trauma. Rewriting the internal script. My strong sense of self. Relying on my supportive people. My wonderful medical care team.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 