Recently, I experienced some judgment for the choices I am making about my health. It was from someone close to us which always seems to hurt the most.
One of the ways I know I am healing from the emotional trauma I have experienced is that I am not letting the judgment stop me from being open and authentic. I know who I am and what I have been through, and I am confident that I am doing my best given the situation. I don’t know anyone else who is going through exactly what I am going through, so there is no road map to follow. Do I know that I am making choices that aren’t mainstream? Yes, I have known this for 20+ years. Do I wish I could make choices that are mainstream just like most everyone else? Yes, that would be way cheaper and easier. Do I know that I am in a vulnerable position and may be spending a lot of money on “the new thing” treatments that could just be a waste of money? Yes, and it will be worth it if it saves my life. What I know for sure is that I don’t have to explain myself to anyone.
One of the reasons I started the blog was to help others who are going through a difficult time feel less alone. So, even though it is painful at times, I will continue with the blog unless/until the judgment becomes so toxic that it starts to impede my healing. If it gets to the point where I am forced to choose between my healing and helping others, I will choose my healing.
A different person texted me yesterday some words of encouragement, and I thanked her for her kindness given that very few people reach out to check on me, and the number of people who do reach out has decreased significantly since starting the blog. (I don’t feel like I have written anything offensive, so it is confusing and hurtful at times.) This person said that she never wants to catch me at a bad time, and I told her that it is never a bad time for a kind and supportive text.
My question for all of you is this: Do you want to contribute to someone’s pain or to their healing? The good news is that you get to decide the impact you want to have on the lives of others. The choice is yours.
Brutal. Judgment from others. Feeling like I don’t matter.
Beautiful. Healing from emotional trauma. Helping others. Words of encouragement. A deep internal knowing that I matter.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
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This Brutiful Life 