Along with trying to lower my toxic load and eradicate pathogens, we are also trying to navigate the home environment situation for our home. It is impossible to have zero mold spores in a home, but the questions are which kinds, how many spores, how toxic are they, and what can my body accept? The testing has indicated that our home has very little mold, so most of my mold exposure has been from prior mold exposures. However, since I am extra sensitive to mold, what steps do we need to take to make sure my body can heal? The question that remains is: How much is my life worth?
We could spend anywhere from $0 to approximately $65,000 (so far) on just our home environment. (This is in addition to my medical care costs that are rising even as I type this post.) We have gotten reports, opinions, and estimates from a variety of experts, contractors, etc., and we are doing our best to make good decisions. We are fully aware that we have limited opportunities left to save my life, so we need to do whatever it takes. But, what does that mean exactly? What is actually needed for someone in my situation? The unfortunate part is that we could spend quite a lot of money, and then we could find out that we still need to move to a different home. Maybe there is something else in the home that we don’t know about that is causing a problem. Maybe the outdoor environment in this area is not conducive to my healing. We won’t know if the work we have done on the house was needed and helpful until after we have already spent the money.
We have thought about trying to find a new house instead of doing work on our current house, but the experts have told us that there are likely more issues in some of the new materials used in new home construction that would cause my body to react, so moving to a new home is just as risky for someone like me. And, finding a different older home that is safe for me is extremely unlikely.
So, where does that leave us? It leaves us with making very difficult decisions for which there are no obvious “right” answers. My husband continues to tell me that I am worth every penny we spend to try to keep me alive regardless of the financial repercussions, and our kind and compassionate financial planner often reminds us that our priorities are exactly where they should be in terms of my health.
The other difficult part is that I have to try not to stress out about these topics, because a regulated nervous system is needed for optimal healing. I don’t know anyone who would be completely unbothered in the face of these types of decisions, and that includes me, but I will continue to do my best to try to keep my nervous system as regulated as possible.
One interesting thing that is happening is that I have been continuing to receive what seem to be signs from my grandparents who have passed away. It feels like they are, once again, telling me that they are with me, and I am on the right path. I will try to hold onto these signs/messages as much as possible when I am unsure of how to proceed.
Brutal. Difficult decisions with no clear answers.
Beautiful. Knowledgeable experts in home environments. Frequent reminders from my husband that I am worth it all. Potential signs from loved ones who have passed away.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 