A few months ago, my husband and I started calling my doctor’s appointments “dates” in order to focus on what we appreciate about them. We are getting to spend quite a bit of time together in the car, so we are listening to podcasts together, having deep discussions only best friends & life partners will understand, and laughing at all of the humorous parts of our lives.
Our “date” schedule is ramping up right now in a big way, and while we have been enjoying our extra quality time together, we also could use something from you. Will you remind us that we are loved and thought of on a regular basis?
The usual go-to way to support someone is to bring food or start a food train. So, what if, like us, food will not help? What if part of the issue involves a special diet? What then?
What We Need:
1) Please text or direct message us regularly and let us know that you are thinking of us. We are beyond busy right now, so texting is a good way to communicate with us. It allows us to feel loved while also understanding that we may not be able to respond in that moment. (And, if you are not good at remembering these kinds of things, don’t let that be an excuse not to reach out in support. Use those adulting skills and make a calendar event or add a task to your task list to remind yourself regularly. 🤣)
Helpful tip #1: Before you contact us, please read the blog updates. We have to repeat ourselves quite a lot to my various practitioners, so it is helpful if we don’t have to repeat ourselves to you, too. We are happy to discuss what is going on, but the repetition is the exhausting part. We are happy to elaborate as long as you already have the basics from reading the blog.
Helpful tip #2: If you are going to ask us how we are doing, ask, “How are you today?” instead of “How are you?” How are you is complicated. Do you mean this minute? This day? This week? This month? This year? There are a lot of ways for someone living alongside chronic illness to answer, and it would be helpful if we had a very specific question.
Helpful tip #3: Ask us about a different area of our life. We are so much more than a chronic illness. We are people who are living alongside the chronic illness, but we are not the chronic illness.
Helpful tip #4: Tell us about what is going on in your life. We love to know what is happening in the lives of others since we have missed opportunities to connect with you.
Helpful tip #5: Offer to run an errand for us. There are times when we are overwhelmed with tasks to complete and could use some help in this area.
Helpful tip #6: Tell us the name of a TV show, podcast episode, or book you think we will like. Or, tell us a story from your life that made you think of us. These may seem little to you, but they are actually big. The simple act of even sending a text indicates that you were thinking of us, and that is what support is all about for us.
2) Please send us positive energy and/or pray for us (whichever fits into your personal spiritual beliefs). We will take all of the love and support we can get!
What We Don’t Need:
1) Food
2) Medical advice
Thank you, in advance, for any support you can send our way! We love you!
Brutal. So many tasks and appointments.
Beautiful. Dates. Quality time together. Support from family, friends, colleagues, and acquaintances.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 