This Brutiful Life

The last week has been an even bigger challenge in terms of physical side effects. I increased my dosage of the supplement that was making my brain “heavy”, but it was an uphill battle. I have had profound brain fog, fatigue, headaches, and nausea for about a week. I am not used to the brain fog being so obvious. The best way I can describe it is that I can’t recall words or knowledge without a large amount of effort, and then that effort causes extreme exhaustion. And, then add on the headache and nausea. I have a lot of compassion for people who feel this way regularly.

Luckily, we had a follow-up appointment with my main practitioner (functional medicine chiropractor) scheduled for today. After a quick rundown of my symptoms, he is having me back off of the supplement that is causing the most issues. He knows that I am willing to keep powering through the side effects, but he doesn’t want my nervous system to be repeatedly activated due to a physical reaction to a supplement. At some point, we will need to power through, but he says that now is not the time. Instead, we will lower the dosage and try a different supplement. Keep in mind, we are still not even treating any of the items on the list; we are currently just trying to get my body ready for treatment. I know that there are going to be setbacks, and we have to be patient with my body, but it doesn’t make the setbacks any easier. He told us that he has learned that going slow is the key; pushing the body this early in the process is the quickest way to make things worse.

He did say that he was very impressed with how many assigned tasks we have accomplished since our first appointment with him 5 weeks ago. He said that we would be surprised with how many people pay him and then don’t do what he suggests. My husband made it clear, once again, that we will be his most dedicated and determined patient and support person. Determination and work ethic have always been our strengths.

We are also currently trying to get a handle on the mold situation in our home to determine if my severe mold toxicity is from prior exposures, current exposure, or both. We are waiting on the final report from the mold professionals for the testing completed in our home last week. In the meantime, we are learning a lot more than we ever anticipated about mold, house construction, ventilation, etc. It has been a real treat. 🙄 It seems like even minimal mold findings require a lot of professional expertise (read: money) for someone like me whose body is exhausted and reacts to everything. Also, what if we are told we need to do some mold remediation and pay a lot of money, only to find out that we still have to move to a different house due to some remaining reaction to the indoor air or due to reactions to the outdoor air in our area? I can’t even tell you the amount of information we are having to process at this point.

There are a bunch of tasks we still need to do, but we are trying to continue to take it one day at a time. That is all we can do. The amount of information coming at us, the amount of money that has to be spent, the number of appointments we need to attend, all while staying on top of our work responsibilities, is ridiculous. Not to mention doing all of this while feeling like shit and needing to sleep a lot. How are we doing all of this?

In fact, I am not sure if this post even makes any sense. The only reason I am even able to type right now is because the morning dose of the supplement is wearing off, and I didn’t take the evening dose.

Recently, I emailed our wonderful therapist a question. She answered my question, and then she ended her email by writing, “In the face of the limitations of choices, resources and medical guidance with circumstances with your health that were out of your control and let downs, YOU did continue to seek.  Not only have you continued to seek answers and guidance in navigating your health and wellness with lots of painful let downs from others along the way while enduring suffering, you have continued to embrace kindness, love and compassion for others.  That is truly exceptional and a true example of resilience. … I am so grateful to have the privilege to know you.”

I was not expecting that part of her reply. I have gone back and read it quite a few times throughout the last week when I needed some words of encouragement. I can’t adequately explain how much it means to me to receive these kind words from someone who knows so many of the intricate details of what we have endured. It is a reminder that our words impact others in ways that we may never know. We also never know when someone needs a little pick-me-up. Just think about all the ways we can positively impact someone else’s day without even knowing it.


Brutal. Brain fog. Fatigue. Nausea. Changing supplements and slowing the approach. Information overload.

Beautiful. Determination and work ethic acknowledged by our functional medicine chiropractor. Kindness, love, and compassion acknowledged by our amazing therapist.


Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.