Two nights ago (Friday night), I woke up in the middle of the night in extreme pain. My stomach, intestines, and back were hurting at such an intense level that I had the chills, and I could not go back to sleep. I laid in bed for a minute trying to remember what I had eaten or done differently on Friday that could have caused the pain. Nothing came to mind, so I was at a loss for what to do. I tried some quick ways of relieving the pain that have helped in the past, but I could tell that this was not going to be resolved quickly.
My go-to response to pain of any kind is to try to handle it on my own. I have always been a very independent person. However, I have learned over the years that I need to rely on others at times, and I need to strive for interdependence in connection with others rather than complete independence.
So, instead of trying to handle the pain on Friday night on my own, I woke my husband up and asked for help. I was able to tell him what was happening and ask for assistance and comfort. He tried one of the techniques we have used in the past to relieve the pain, but that didn’t work. I then tried switching positions in bed, getting up to walk around the room, and using the restroom. Finally, I laid back in bed and just hoped for a miracle. At that point, my husband could tell that there was no end in sight. He also knew from previous conversations that the best thing he can do when it gets to this point is to make sure I feel his support and that I know I am not alone.
For the next few hours, he was in constant physical contact with me. As he was drifting in and out of sleep, he made sure his hand was always touching me, so that I knew he was there. After a few hours, the pain lessened some, and I felt like I would be able to get a little bit of sleep. I whispered that I was going to try to go back to sleep, so he rolled back to his side of the bed to give me space to sleep.
We both woke up the next morning and felt like zombies. The physical pain was still there for me, but we had made it through the night, and we were proud of each other. I had woken him up and asked him for the help and support I needed, and he had used the tools he has learned to give me both the physical and emotional support I needed.
Last night (Saturday night), as I was getting ready for bed, he said, “Make sure to wake me up if the pain level increases again.” I replied, “I will.”
Brutal. Pain without answers.
Beautiful. Love. Connection. Support. Vulnerability. Emotional interdependence. Teamwork.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 