The next 3 weeks (depending on my menstrual cycle and when the tests arrive at my home) will consist of completing 4 at-home tests (saliva, hair, urine (x2)) and 1 laboratory test (blood). The instructions for the tests are very confusing and require quite a bit of attention to detail. Luckily, attention to detail is one of my strengths, but it is still extremely tiring. For example, here is the instructions for just 1 of the tests (with my added commentary in parentheses in bold):
1) Read all instructions thoroughly before sample collection. Failure to follow instructions described may cause the lab to reject samples. (Great! Just in case I want to pay twice for this test.)
2) Men, children, and non-menstruating women may collect any day of the month. (Men have it so easy. Just kidding. Or not kidding at all.)
3) Menstruating women should collect samples according to the following schedule:
a) Regular cycles: Collect on Day 19, 20, 21 of the menstrual cycle. (I hope you don’t have work or other commitments on these 3 days.)
b) Irregular cycles: Collect 5 days before your period begins. (If your cycles are irregular, would you really know when it is 5 days prior?)
c) Unpredictable cycles: Collect any day when not bleeding. (Seems reasonable.)
4) Please consult with your healthcare provider regarding eating, drinking, and taking any supplementations or medications prior to sample collection. (So, if I can only eat a few foods and can’t get off of any supplements, I guess I just hope for the best?)
5) Saliva must be collected 4 times during the day at ____, ____, ____, ____ (evenly spaced throughout the day). Do not eat, drink, brush teeth, chew gum, or use mouthwash 30 minutes prior to each collection time. (So easy to fit this all in, and take supplements at certain times, and eat all my calories, and drink all of my water. Let me set a bunch of alarms on my phone, because I already don’t have very many at all.)
6) Ensure that the samples are labeled appropriately with name, date of birth, date and time of each sample collection. Samples with insufficient labeling will be rejected. (Just relax. Don’t stress. But, make sure you get it all right so that you don’t have to pay for another test and wait an additional 4 weeks for your initial appointment that is not scheduled until March.)
7) Make sure to ship all samples within 12 hours, or else the samples may be rejected. (Easy. Because this shipping company is open at 11:00 PM.)
Rinse and repeat 4 more times, plus other exciting instructions not included on this test like what foods to avoid for 48 hours prior to each test. For example, don’t eat foods with selenium. Okay, let me just real quick make sure I know which foods have a lot of selenium, and I will hope those are not the foods that I can currently eat.
I have done many similar tests before, but each doctor wants their own tests completed.
Mix it with all of my current appointments, treatments, work, and finding time for fun, and life will be interesting.
Brutal. Finding the brain space to manage all of the testing while taking care of myself, my relationships, my job, and my current treatments. Then, waiting for 2 months before we even know if we have any potential clues from these tests.
Beautiful. There is hope. I feel like we are circling around some potential clues that match up with what my previous doctors have been saying for the last year.
Just another day of . . . This Brutiful Life: The Brutal & Beautiful Moments of My Life.
This Brutiful Life 